Meesh

For Bullshit I Have No Capacity

Recently I’ve decided that there are a few things in life that I can do without and bullshit is one of those things. If you’re gonna be on Team Meesh then your gonna be supportive and suggestive. Now if you arent on the team I can only ask that you jump off a fucking bridge. Today I ran into this guy who would constantly praise my abilities yet have nothing for me but the same old lines:

“I got some work for you”
“I gotta get yo number before you go”
“We can get some money”
“I got sites that need to be done and I know u can do them”

We kinda ran into each other at the funeral and he goes for the hug like “I’ve been lookin’ for you” -rolls eyes- So I politely sit there and say “oh… ok” after the service he throws another one of his famous lines at me “I gotta get your number!” -side eye- I just said “…right” and made a b-line for the door. Every time its the same shit he knows where the hell I live, knows the number it hasn’t changed and knows the fam. If you really wanted to get in touch with me then you would’ve. Every time you see me you don’t have to go through the motions we can just say hi and move on. Its rather insulting to have you try to build up my expectations knowing full fucking well you’re gonna forget about me like you always do.

Its not just this instance either. I seem to gravitate towards people who want me to be all about them. FUCK THAT! This could possibly be my fault, maybe I just give off a vibe that attracts these kind of individuals. Who could really know? All I know is I’m so over it, if your gonna help me you’ll do that, If you’re gonna come through you will. I refuse to beg for anything lord knows Ms. Yvonne Wilson didn’t raise me to beg anyone for anything.

I give as good as I get, it isn’t like I just want certain people around for personal gain. However it often feels like I’m putting so much into people and they take advantage. So I’m prepared to sever ties with people who don’t make an effort.

If you aren’t a person of your word…
If you only contact me when you need something…
If I Haven’t spoken to you in a year..
Leave me the fuck alone!

Protected: A little of random

Brick, brick by brick…

I’ve been up to plenty since the last entry! I finally opend my portfolio (exhibit1422.com) its bare still but I’m trying to add work from paid gigs there. Class has been…. yeah lmao. I’m getting tired of complaining about how much I hate that class. So for the final time (no bullshit) here it goes. I fucking hate that class! I hate going there knowing I’m gonna be insulted on a deep level and be the only female that’s offended. I’m tired of hearing about people wanting to lynch gays. I’m tired of being hit on by the married man I sit next to. I’m tired of getting this horrid mean mug from the girl who sits in front of me. I’m tired of this class fucking with my spirits. I was never a super chipper person but now I do feel as depressed as I look! -EXHALES- ok I think I feel better!

Then I’ve been writting more (finished this last night ty for posting it gwanii). More in my journals! Some of the shit that is going on with me from day to day I can’t blog about but I feel like I might go nuts if I keep it to myself. So when its coming down to matters of my sanity I must write! because I can’t annoy Gwanyca every second of the day.

(she’ll get it… i hope)

Other than that I need to be working on my friends portfolio now I’m mentally counting my coins on that job as I blog. Umm naturally theres so much more that I want to say (like my last entry) but I’m good with leaving it where it is! later ppl!