Meesh

Playing Pretend While Wearing New Jeans

Hopefully everyone had a great holiday! Mine was alright but fact is I was pooped by 1pm. So here’s how it all went down. My dad called my gram on Apr 1st and wished her a happy b-day. He told her that he really couldn’t afford to do anything for her and that he’d just come over on Sunday and cook dinner for her. She was happy with it because she didn’t want to go over someone else’s house for easter and she didn’t have to cook so that was a win, win! So Sunday morning finally rolls around and I get up super early to be downstairs when he and my mother came over, I was greeted by my grandmother who was in a pissed mood. Apparently my mother had called my aunt and asked her if she and my other aunt could pitch in for the dinner.

Now mind you my aunts already planned to have dinner else where. My grandmother was fuming mad because her other kids had already given her money for her bday to go shopping on this trip we’re taking Saturday. I guess my dad didn’t expect any money or even ask her to do that she took it upon herself to ask people for money or what have you. So all during Sunday we had to sit there and stare at each other and keke back and forth. Its all too draining to sit here and pretend to like someone. Honestly I think she only did half of the things she did yesterday to get some kind of brownie points with my grandmother. I wish me and my mother did have a better relationship because minus the crack and identity theft she’d be a cool person to hang out with shes super crafty, and shes a crazy great writer. I just can’t trust her its like every time I put my guard down I get a glimpse of the person she really is and I’m right back at square one. It doesn’t help that she never owns up to the shit that she does.

Moving on!
I’m seriously enjoying my politics class just as much as I’m enjoying my new jeans (ignore the bed i was sooo not making it to take that picture) I got to bed early and was able to take up with out feeling and looking dead. I enjoyed myself minus preston’s ignorant comments and inputs. We are so behind in that class and I think our last day is the 25th and so far we’ve only had one test out of 3 – shrugs- I’m not complaining or anything I’m just saying. Lord knows I hadn’t planned on doing that debate so it’ll be great to not have to worry about that! So I’m praying that she isn’t making any plans to randomly include that into the next few weeks of classes. Any who on to these jeans which are officially my new favorite jeans. I got them on the 50% off sale over at torrid. I was stalking them already for awhile they went from 62.00 to 44. I didn’t have 44 dollars so I thought I was gonna have to let the dream die. Then one night on skype my sister asked me if I got anything on the 50% off sale! I got a few emails from torrid that morning and I ignored them. Needless to say I spent my phone bill money on these jeans and an MJ concert tee. I’m happy with my purchase. Now I’ll try and get a dress next time but those other fat cunts get to the nice dresses way before me!

Fighting For A Window Seat

So today I got on the book of the face to bug one of my classmates. Frankly I’m not going to class on Wednesday and needed for him to relay any eventful news to me. (tests n shit of the sort) Did that chatted for a minute about me looking mean (when CLEARLY I’m america’s sweetheart…reaching? ok I quit then) Then he said something on facebook about Erykah Badu falling into the stereotype of being another black woman who has to take her clothes off to be heard. Now you all know there isn’t much that I obsess over I go hard for a few things in life. Gaga, Porn and damnit Erykah Badu! So I remembered what Gwanii said and i just quoted her and threw it at him “Why can’t I be who I am without judgement” I was gonna let go and let God because I sensed that it would escalate into something bigger than what I was ready to deal with at the time. He then proceeded to send me a message in my inbox and thus the debate began:

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Him:I believe that she did this for a conscious reason but i wish she had consciously reasoned the best way to go about it.

ME: the sad thing is (and i’ve noticed this with alot of her work) people will only see the surface of it and totally miss the message. Too busy nodding their heads or staring at her ass all the while ignoring the lyrics and the meaning.

Him: That’s what I mean her content suffers because she does not know how to focus her audience. We the fans will understand, like we all know that dogs and cats lick themselves but any person who sees that for the first time is like ugh!! and she is putting this out to a wider audience then her fan base and they will take it a whole other way and the young who can’t yet comprehend the double entendre will miss the message of this and take from it only visual ques from which they will get nothing because they aren’t even old enough to recognize the setting.

Me: Well with that being said we can only expect so much from an artist. Picasso didn’t have instructions on how to view his work. Its up to the viewer to look at each piece and pick it apart, find its hidden meaning determine what the artist wanted to depict. I do understand what you mean as far as younger audiences looking at the video and not fully understanding everything. But whom can we really blame for that? The content is out there and sooner or later the younger generation will receive it. Its up to the elders to explain things.
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In the end I made my point. You just cant blame one individual for everything thats wrong within an entire group of people. Thats like blaming video game programmers for your child going out and shooting someone in the face. There has to be some kind of parental interference to describe whats right and whats wrong. Sitting around waiting for the world to raise your child wondering why he or she is just an all around fuck up. Take responsibility!

Protected: Maybe Never…